I Have To Forgive Her

“Forgiveness does not change the past, but it does enlarge the future.” ~ Paul Boese

It has always been easy for me to forgive. I’ve never really held grudges against people and I’ve been proud of that fact.

Until now.

There is a person in my life that, at one time, I prayed “God, please just get her out of my life”. God answered, and she is, for the most part, out of my life. I don’t have to deal with her anymore on a daily basis. Her name does come up every once in awhile. If I mention her name amongst friends, everyone’s back arches and their claws come out. She’s hurt many more than just me. But that’s not my concern. I have to swallow hard and forgive her…for me.

Forgiving her won’t change the past, but it will tear down this wall that has built itself around my heart. Forgiving her won’t change a thing, except me. She won’t even know about it, but I will.

She did a lot of good things for me, and I try to think of those things but still, even the good brings a bitter taste to my mouth.

I am a better person because of her. I owe a lot to her, most of all, I owe her my forgiveness. I still don’t want her in my life and this is one way of cleansing and removing her completely. As long as I hold on to the bitterness, she will be forever with me.

So this is when I pull from the depths of all I’ve learned and send love and forgiveness to someone who would never even admit she needs forgiveness. Each time her name comes up I have to just close my eyes and think love, love, love.

Now is the time I have to walk the walk and talk the talk of what I’ve been trying to learn and live…that you don’t love a person because of who they are or what they’ve done. You love them just because they ARE. Every soul is worthy of love. No matter what.

Not one of God’s children can be evil. At worst, he or she is hurt. At worst, he or she attacks others, and blames them for their pain. But, they are not evil.

Yes, your compassion must go this deep. There is no human being who does not deserve your forgiveness. There is no human being who does not deserve your love. ~ Paul Ferrini

I have to dig deep and find compassion for this person.

So that I can be free and travel lightly upon the earth, I have to let go of the baggage.

I have to forgive her.

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