Regrets

Loving Arms
Artist (Band):Dixie Chicks

If You Could See Me Now
The One Who Said That She’d Rather Roam
The One Who Said She’d Rather Be Alone
If You Could Only See Me Now

If I Could Hold You Now
Just For A Moment, If I Could Really Make You Mine
Just For A While, Turn Back The Hands Of Time
If I Could Only Hold You Now

I’ve Been Too Long In The Wind
Too Long In The Rain
Taking Any Comfort That I Can
Looking Back And Longing For
The Freedom Of My Chains
And Lying In Your Loving Arms Again

If You Could Hear Me Now
Singing Somewhere Through The Lonely Nights
Dreaming Of The Arms That Held Me Tight
If You Could Only Hear Me Now

I’ve Been Too Long In The Wind
Too Long In The Rain
Taking Any Comfort That I Can
Looking Back And Longing For
The Freedom Of My Chains
And Lying In Your Loving Arms Again

I’ve Been Too Long In The Wind
Too Long In The Rain
Taking Any Comfort That I Can
Looking Back And Longing For
The Freedom Of My Chains
And Lying In Your Loving Arms Again

I Can Almost Feel Your Loving Arms Again

My friend, Ms. Life Saver Friend, was singing this song yesterday (as we do a lot of days to make it through the work day – sing songs). It has always been one of my favorites but I didn’t know the Dixie Chicks had recorded it…beautiful!

Anyway, there’s a line in the song “looking back and longing for the freedom of my chains”…that always grabs hold of me for some reason every time I hear it. It reminds me of all the many regrets I have. Some of which are:

I regret that I didn’t crawl up in the hospital bed with my Mom and REFUSE to let her go – like that really would have done any good but I’ve always felt like I could have done more to keep her alive.

I regret that when I saw my Dad for the last time I didn’t scream something that would have made him understand how alone I’d be once he was gone, but all I could do was stand there and cry and tell him I loved him. And that wasn’t enough.

I regret that divorcing Mr. Ex screwed up Big Son’s life so much. Really now, just how many lives have to be ruined when something like that happens?

I regret that I’ve not been able to find a way to help Big Son. I regret that he has fallen through the cracks. I regret I let him go live with Mr. Ex when we divorced. For the past 13 years he’s had no advocate. He’s had no one in his corner. I’ve not been there.

I regret that I believed every word I was told by preachers as I was growing up in church, just because they said they were “Men of God”.

I regret not doing what I wanted to do when I was younger. I regret making sure everybody’s dreams were realized while I put mine on the back burner and now its too late.

I regret not believing what I’ve been told all too many times ~ “its never too late”.

I regret letting all this bother me for so many years.

This is when I have to use that cure all for all called Letting It Go!

This is when I sigh and get up out of this chair and wrap my arms around Little Miss ASIJ and Mr. ASIJ and thank God they are in my life.

This is when I decide NO MORE REGRETS. My past has made me who I am today…like it or not, its who I am. I can see where I went wrong, made bad choices. They can’t be undone, but I can let them go and start over. I can, at any time, call a “do over”.

At 52…quickly approaching 53…I am calling a do over.

Knowing what I know now, I can hardly imagine how wonderful the next 53 years are going to be.

Word.

High Five.

Celebrate.

Life is good.

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One thought on “Regrets

  1. I firmly believe in the depths of my soul that we are all having the experiences we are meant to have. They are not good or bad, they simply are.

    Every day we awaken to a new day and the opportunity to have a new Point A. Begin again, taking with you the knowledge, understanding, empathy, and compassion, you’ve gained through the experiences you’ve had so far.

    Live a life of integrity and love and you can’t go wrong.

    Blessings,
    Carolynn

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