Of Flowers and Mice…

Little Miss Mouse
Little Miss Mouse

Today, Patti Digh, from 37 Days fame, wrote on Facebook about a dead mouse on her front walkway that needed removing. It reminded me of a true story from years ago about Little Miss ASIJ and one rather dead mouse.

Earlier on that day, Mr. ASIJ had been watering flowers and plants in the house and one of them was very droopy. After a short while, when they went back to check on it, it had perked up and was looking good and healthy. Mr. ASIJ explained to Little Miss ASIJ that the water had done it. Even though it looked almost dead, the water had nourished the plant and “brought it back to life”.

Little Miss ASIJ was about 3 or 4 yrs. old at the time. And took everything told to her quite literally. So now she’s thinking that water can bring things back to life. Her dad found her later on that day with a dead mouse that one of cats had killed. She had stuck it in a glass of water, and was stirring it with a spoon, waiting for it to “come back to life.”

Mr. ASIJ quickly got on the phone to call me at work and tell me about this. At first I thought, “how cute and oh how brilliant my little daughter is”. Then realized she would have had to have touched the mouse and I got all squeamish and started ranting over the phone “did you make sure she washed her hands? What if the mouse had some kind of disease? You need to get her in the bathtub NOW and make sure she gets clean with lots of hot water and soap!!!”

He said that she seemed a little disappointed that the mouse just swirled around and didn’t jump right up like the plant had done. He took the glass from her and took it to the edge of the woods and “disposed” of it. When nobody could find the mouse later, Little Miss ASIJ assumed he had jumped up and run into the woods.

Amazing what a little bit of water and the faith of a child can do.

Little Miss ASIJ
Little Miss ASIJ

A Perfect Life

Recently, I became involved with yet another online time consumer.

Facebook.

I have found family members and its so nice to connect with them in this way. I’ve been having a blast searching and finding so many! Also, I have found so many friends from my past. I have learned things I didn’t know. One of my long ago friends had passed away and I was shocked to learn of this.

I have looked at friends’ photos and at first glance all I see is their perfect lives.

The life I wanted but didn’t get.

The life I had planned.

The large happy family – all the smiling faces. The grandkids all gathered around the happy grandparents.

So I have to stop and ask myself, “What is a perfect life?”

The answer I come up with is “The life I’m living”. This is MY perfect life. May not be the one I planned but its the one I got and the one I’m most comfortable in. It’s the one I really wouldn’t trade a million bucks for.

Is there anyone who would look at my life and say “gosh I wish my life had turned out like hers?” Probably not. I have times in my life I wouldn’t wish on anyone. But I have had golden moments that defined the course of my life in the most amazing and miraculous ways. I have beautiful miracles in my life that make me gasp each time I think of them or sense their presence or feel their hugs.

And who’s to know what sadness and tragedy lies behind the smiles and laughter of other’s lives? Life rarely goes as planned. We become masters at managing curve balls thrown at us from all angles. We become masters at living lives we never planned. No matter what life has turned out to be for us, we’ve become stronger just from the living of it.

If life had gone the way I planned, I would have missed so many wonderful times – missed meeting so many wonderful people. People who have filled my life with so much love and joy. Life really is absolutely amazing.

I have so much love in my small family. And tenderness that brings tears to my eyes. Even each ordinary day is so full of love from those around me.

I love my perfect life. I am thankful you have yours. And that we can all cherish these moments together.

Air Words from Little Miss ASIJ

I didn’t realize it had been so long since I’d posted anything. Almost like I disappeared off the face of the earth. But I’m still here, just going through a silent spell I guess.

I was just in the living room talking with Mr. ASIJ about some things I’d been feeling lately. For several days now…almost like my heart and soul are hurting. Broken, but really nothing to be broken about. It took me a minute or two to identify just what was going on. Its taken me a few days to speak about it to anyone.

All of a sudden I want to cry most of the time again. About nothing. About anything. About everything. About how messy my house has gotten. About those weeds, or whatever they are, growing outside of the fence in my front yard and no matter how hard I wish it – they just won’t go away. About the lawn needing mowing and it won’t stop raining long enough for the grass to dry so I can cut it. About the messy backyard. About the fact that I still believe (even after 12 years since being divorced) what Mr. Ex told me…that I’m a bad wife, a bad mother, A BAD PERSON! About the fact that I don’t have many good friends. (Of course I don’t, who wants to be friends with A BAD PERSON?) Not counting my family, there are only two people in this whole entire world who I believe love me unconditionally.

STOP RIGHT THERE! Whatever happened to slapping a smile on my face and being happy? What happened to counting my blessings? What happened to MY ENCHANTED LIFE???

My enchanted life never left. I guess I’ve checked out for a minute or two but my life is still just as enchanting as ever. My house is messy…I am thankful I HAVE a house. I have dirty dishes in my kitchen sink right now…I am thankful we have plenty of food so we can mess up dishes. My front and backyards look atrocious…I am thankful I have nature right outside my window. The rainy days…I am thankful for this rain. And Mr. Ex…I wish him well. He had no idea what he was talking about. Friends…they are everywhere and its up to me to open my arms and include them in my life. Those two friends who love me…I am SO thankful that those two people are already in my life and they won’t ever leave me.

So why is the title of this post “Air Words From Little Miss ASIJ”? I’m glad you asked. Just this morning I was laying in bed talking to Little Miss ASIJ. She and Mr. ASIJ had slept in and I had been up for awhile. Crying. And crying and crying. Thinking that awful thought…I AM A BAD PERSON. By the time Little Miss ASIJ woke up I had finally stopped crying and was trying to look pleasant 🙂 She didn’t know I’d been crying or what I’d been crying about. While we were talking, she started acting like she was writing words on my forehead. I asked “What are you doing? Feels like you’re writing words. She smiled and I asked her what was she writing. She said “The best person ever.”

Wow, I should have realized right then and there how ridiculous my thoughts had been. Little Miss ASIJ is the most enchanting person EVER and she writes on my forehead “the best person ever”, then whoa Nellie…I’M THE BEST PERSON EVER!!! If you don’t believe it, it’s written on my forehead and if I forget, all I have to do is look in the mirror. Sure I have to use my imagination to see air words, but the words are there. I felt her write them.

I am thankful for air words from Little Miss ASIJ.