Baby Brother & THE ONE

I guess the post from the other day about the big purple box of Kotex that Rhoda Belle gave us just opened up the floodgates of feminine hygiene product memories. Most of them I’ll gracefully allow to pass on by. But there’s one you just have to hear. The main star was Baby Brother. By the way, his birthday is this coming Monday. Baby Brother will be 41 years old. No way could my sweet little red headed baby brother be 41 years old. But it is happening, whether I believe it or not.

Now the story…

It was a gorgeous summer day. I was 15 and my baby brother was barely 4. Cutest little spoiled rotten red headed toddler running around getting into mischief that you’ve ever seen. He still talked with those sweet little baby talk words that melt your heart. He couldn’t say my name and it came out sounding like “Thetha”. Too cute.

Back to the gorgeous summer day. I was entertaining, in my living room, a boy I had decided was THE ONE. He was the typical blonde hair blue eyed heart throb that I JUST HAD TO HAVE. I flirted, I giggled, I blushed, I swooned, just like I was supposed to. Life was good and I was in control.

Until HE walked in. Baby Brother. Standing about 3 ft. tall, his hands behind his back and an angelic smile on his face, he suddenly threw out his hands right in front of mine and THE ONE’S face and said “Look Thetha…fendernails”. I gasped and almost fainted. Attached to every one of his chubby little baby brother fingers was a pink plastic tampon applicator.

I was mortified.

I screamed.

My Mom ran in the room, saw what was going on, and gently led Baby Brother out of the room, leaving me with my now ruined life. I couldn’t catch my breath.

THE ONE, on the other hand, was laughing so hard I though he’d wet his pants! For some reason, that made me so mad! Here I was, traumatized and scarred for the rest of my life, and all THE ONE could do was laugh!! Good grief.

I quickly got up and went in the bathroom where my Mom had led Baby Brother and just when I thought things could NEVER get worse…there she was gently taking the pink plastic tampon applicators off each little chubby Baby Brother “fender”, putting them in a sink full of soapy water, washing them real good…AND GIVING THEM BACK TO HIM!!!!

Life changed for me that day.

Momma took one look at me and said “Don’t make a big deal of it and he’ll lay ‘em down after while and forget about ‘em. But if you make a big deal of it, he’ll be hoarding pink plastic tampon applicators in his room for the rest of his life.” She really was a wise woman.

But to this day I can’t see a tampon without thinking about my baby brother…and that just shouldn’t happen.

2 thoughts on “Baby Brother & THE ONE

  1. I’d say this was a very effective way of settling the debt of embarrassment. I’m sure Baby Brother is thrilled to death (yours probably) that you’re retelling this story now on the eve of a very grown up birthday.

    I was the baby of the family. I’m sure my Big Brother (Baba…I couldn’t pronounce his name either) suffers permanent scarring from my antics, too. I distinctly remember tormenting him when he was attempting to enjoy a very romantic evening with THE ONE…

    Younger siblings…we’re all the same. :o))

  2. Ok now I feel bad. Just kidding. Baby Brother will survive to torture me another day. Thank goodness he has as weird a sense of humor as I do! It’s a good thing all younger siblings are so adorable!!!

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