The Choices We Make


Oh yes, the choices we make. That one little thing we did and it changed the course of our entire life. The words we said or didn’t say. The phone call we made or didn’t make. Our life boils down to one thing – choices.

It was a cold night in January of 1998 when I made a life altering choice. It was a really dangerously stupid one and I wouldn’t recommend it to anyone, especially a woman. I got in my car on a Tuesday after work and drove 4 hours to meet for the first time in person and pick up and bring back to my apartment a man I had only met on the internet. Sure, we had talked for hours and hours on the computer and on the phone. But I didn’t really know him. A person can be anybody or anything they want to be on the internet and some people are excellent actors. When I think back to making that choice, I am filled with such mixed emotions. He could have done anything to me and nobody would have ever known. They would have just missed me at work the next morning.

Would I do it again? Knowing how everything would turn out, in a heartbeat I’d do it again. But why did I do it that night? I know better than to do something stupid and dangerous like that. I’m the world’s biggest scaredy cat. Why did I do it? Why do we do anything? I guess because either we just plain want to or we’re scared NOT to do it. I had a blonde moment and I’m not really blonde.  But maybe it was divine guidance.  I’d really like to believe that was why I did it.

I was divinely guided by the HAND OF GOD.  Yeah right.

Anyway, he was very quiet on the way back to my apartment. For 4 hours he said barely a thing. All he had was the clothes on his back, a black garbage bag with a few more clothes and personal items, and an orange coffee cup. I remember he was wearing cowboy boots. Men stomp when they wear cowboy boots. And take really big steps.

So I picked him up and we talked a little on the way back and got to kind of know each other a little.

I took him home with me.

He never left.

He and I are light years away from each other on most subjects. We don’t have a whole lot in common. I do a lot of eyeball rolling when talking to him because I truly think he’s just about the weirdest person I’ve ever met.

So why are we still together?

Well, I’ve learned more from this man than anyone I’ve ever come in contact with. I became pregnant after we’d been together about a year and a half…weird thing is I can’t have children. He’s a very gentle man who wavers betweens worlds or dimensions or whatever you choose to call them. He’s not all here but he’s not all there – but in a good way.  He always thinks outside of the box, sometimes he even leaves the room that the box is in!! He’s extremely creative. He’s the most open minded person I’ve ever known.  And he stuck by me when I had brain surgery and my head was shaved and I was butt ugly and when there was no nurse around to stick that bedpan under me – and STILL he told me I was beautiful.  Wow!!  Talk about racking up brownie points!

But I guess we’re really still together just for the simple reason that neither one of us ever left.  We are very comfortable together. And…well…I love him and he loves me in a Mr. ASIJ kind of way.

Stranger things have happened, but not to me.

Except maybe the birth of Little Miss ASIJ which I will write about later.

Life sure is good.

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